14 May 2010

+my declaration of self sacrifice+

It was written in answer to a 14 years-old girl’s question , “how can I survive myself for a fulfilling life after the day you went away”.

I am me.
In all the world ,there is no one else as exactly like me.there are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly me. Therefore ,everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it . I own everything about me just like my body including everything it does ,my mind including all my thoughts and ideas , my eyes including images that I have but I never own something that can cheer me up .

Since that , last couple of year , you came , you comes into my life as my adopted sister .
Everything had changed !you such a kind sister . I would never forget that you so caring about me when I drop sometime , then you cheer me up when I am alone , since that you support me , add my strength when I give up. After that you advice me and give your opinion. Then , when I drop into your heart , like I was filled all my mind. I could feel a wind about you , I can’t stand anymore . I had been alone and alone since I know that you had loved someone more than me . I don’t know why I could fell like that. Is that I had odd thinking! Maybe , I be like that because I loved you as my sister damn much. Whateva , you not my boyfriend eiher my girlfriend but you are my sister not just my adopted sister. One day you told me about you have her also as your adopted sister. But why? Why you do that things to me. Since that , I had fulled thinking about you. I cannot forget you however the whole of my life. Since that , my hands started to write , my eyes fulled of tearing. I cried the whole time. Sometime I asked myself , why I cried ?i don’t have any ideas but I can’t stop. It was started because of you and it’s never end. I had the best moment of my life with you. Thanks for everything you had done. I don’t know you had taken care of me sincerely or not. But since I know you had her , it was the saddest and the more sadness that you created to me. I can’t accept it all. After that I search calmness , I search it all but I can’t.Perhaps after this , you will broke my heart again and again, perhaps after this , you will never know me , perhaps after this you will not care about me , perhaps after this you will not do the same things to me , perhaps after this no words would come between us , perhaps after this you would not come in front of my eyes and perhaps after this time , you would forget me forever and forever. Last but not least , perhaps after this I would forget you however it could take the whole of my life. Forgive me because not write any note for the last time we meet because I’m been missing you and so much I need to say. Been lonely since the day ,the day you went away.

I LOvE yOU..:)wink..WInK!!!

+prefer anythim+

lastly..exam is over..however pmr is waiting for me..get to struggle hard and hard..i like to touch sumethim that disturb my feeling one else ...secretive one

im not a perfect one but the only things that i could not imagine bout what i had done for a perfect new long life..nothim could i create as i found sumethim that i regret bout past..

someone ask me bout the past but it all just want to pushing me away..i'm not longer the saddest person who everyone get me..but i had change..change till sumethim thatt i could fell the rythm of someone..actually it all started when i hate it but at last it happen i'm going to let sumetim that prove mine..

as long i begin with one word..begin with one word..`sistaship` last with....u...

as i regret that u are the new comer in ma life ..secret wit nothim but happen in everythim..long time till the end..

i let it all gone n gone..i let it since a long time ago..but i can't..

till that u come and change as long as you till there..plez don't to leave once..

I LOvE yOU..:)wink..WInK!!!


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♫bachok♪, ♫kelantan♪, Malaysia